Jungle
by Kaslyna
Summary: One year after the finale, everything changes. Fluff and angst, Amanda x Nolan. Saw the Season 2 promo and it spun out of control. Trigger warning for alcohol and drugs. May post an M-rated followup soon.


**A/N: Based on the Defiance Season 2 trailer (on the official site go see it NOW), with a lot of my own liberties taken. Written because I was in the mood for Amanda/Nolan angst. Might follow this up with a smutty oneshot, depending on how people respond to this. But it'd be a separate story so those who aren't into that kinda thing can enjoy this one. I apologize for any OOCness, but there is drugs and alcohol involved so there is a little more raw emotion.**

**Disclaimer: I own zilch. Zip. Nada.**

It was one year, one year since the day from hell when she'd lost her sister and Nolan had lost Irisa. Neither were confirmed dead or alive, and somehow, that just made it worse. When houses and apartments had been repossessed by the Earth Republic, Nolan had opted to share a small one bedroom with her, alternating nights between the couch and the bed (somehow she ended up with the bed more often than he seemed to). She'd gone back to work as a janitor, this time at the repossessed NeedWant, and Nolan had become a bounty hunter, sometimes gone for weeks at a time, explaining that it couldn't hurt to look around Defiance for Irisa as well as in it.

He'd been supposed to be back by now, damn him! But she was alone with her scotch and her thoughts, the last thing she wanted to be. If he'd been here, she could've thought of many other ways to entertain themselves-not that they'd ever gone that far before (though they'd certainly come close) but the first anniversary of losing someone seemed as good a time as any.

The drugs had been bought a week after Kenya's disappearance, never before used. She wasn't entirely sure what they were, just that the Castithan she'd gotten them from had told her she had to light them first. In the dim candlelight of the apartment-for they could not afford to pay for lights on top of heat and water-she lit them, inhaling their scent as she'd been told to do.

Her eyes fluttered shut. It felt like her nerves were on fire, like she was floating blissfully in a pool of warm water. She was so unaware that she didn't notice him entering, didn't notice that he'd dropped the bouquet of Irathient-grown flowers on the ground in utter shock.

"What in _hell_ are you doing?!" he growled as he stormed over to her. She whirled in fright, eyes snapping open, their murky, earthy depths dulled and dazed. She smiled, a big, lazy smile because she felt amazing and cushioned and there was a very attractive, very irate Joshua Nolan coming at her. Wait-_why_ was he irate?

He moved past her, knocking her off-kilter. She stumbled and swayed, half-falling before catching herself on something. Amanda frowned; why was he here?

Mumbling curses under his breath, Nolan quickly put out the fire of the mostly used up drugs, turning to face her. She was crying silently; he doubted she even realized it. From the looks of it, she'd had a glass or five of scotch before resorting to the potent Castithan form of ecstasy.

"Hey," his voice was softer, gentler now as he crouched in front of her. She looked up at him, raw and emotional due to the lowering of inhibitions the combination of drugs and alcohol had done to her.

"Nolan," she squeaked out, his name a prayer and a cry for help.

"Hey, c'mere," he pulled her into his arms, unceremoniously falling back onto his ass as he pulled her into his lap and cradled her as he'd done for Irisa so many times as a child when she'd had nightmares. Now he ran gentle fingers through Amanda's hair, breathing in her musky, tangy scent. She hiccuped a little against his shoulder and buried her fingers into his back.

"Nolan," she murmured, over and over again, asking his forgiveness.

"Shhh, it's all right now sweetheart," he practically cooed, feeling awkward and unsure of himself. He'd known she'd been drowning, but so had he, and now he felt the full weight of her grief and his guilt for not being there. He buried one hand in her hair, the other rubbing soothing circles on her middle back.

"I was supposed to look after her and I failed," she sobbed, the drugs now making her woozy and sad and vaguely turned on.

"I know," he whispered, voice muffled by her wavy blonde hair, "Believe me, I know the feeling."

"Why weren't you here? You _promised_ me!" she sounded like a petulant child and she knew it; yet, she was hurting and he hadn't been there.

"I got tied up a bit in the Badlands, took an extra day, but I did my best to haul ass to get back to you as soon as possible. I didn't want you to be alone, but I couldn't help it. I'm sorry. If I'd known how bad things were for you here I would've come sooner," he pleaded with her for forgiveness, "I bought you flowers."

She pulled back a little to gauge the sincerity in his blue eyes, "You did?"

"Yeah, they're over there," he pointed to the slightly wilted flowers and grimaced, "Sorry, I dropped them."

She smiled, a rare, genuine smile, "Thank you."

He grinned sheepishly back, embarrassed by her praise, "It was nothing, sweetheart. Now, why don't you get up and take a shower? I'll make the bed, since you obviously didn't this morning."

"Okay," she agreed readily, standing and then lending him an unsteady hand to help him up.

She swayed on her feet, blonde hair flaring out. It had gotten a little longer, and now nearly reached her waist. She was so out of it she forgot to close the bathroom door, which he did for her, ignoring the sight of her in a bra and her pants-it was nothing new, not when they lived so close together for so long.

Nolan made the bed as he'd said, and for lack of anything better to do started to make the equivalent of scrambled eggs. She'd need the food and would thank him for it later; besides which, he was starving.

It was as he was setting two plates out that he heard retching from the bathroom; it was unsurprising, given the amount of alcohol she'd consumed on top of drugs not built for humans. He hurried to the bathroom, knocking and waiting thirty seconds. When no answer was forthcoming, he entered, finding her kneeling over the toilet, naked as the day she was born, shower still on. He turned off the shower first; they couldn't afford to waste any water. Then he crouched beside her, pulling her blonde hair out of her way as she began another round of heaving.

When she was done, he stood and helped her up, doing his best to ignore her nakedness, even as he drew her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head before releasing her. She was looking up him, eyes still wide from the alcohol and drugs. She smiled lazily a little and he sighed.

"Brush your teeth and then we'll talk," he promised her, leaving the bathroom without another glance spared at Amanda; he figured she'd freak out about this encounter-and the previous one-tomorrow enough as is; there was no need for derogatory comments.

He heard the sink on and settled on the lumpy couch that served as his bed, more often than not. Before long, Amanda came out, settling herself indecently close to him and resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her bare shoulders; she was wearing a threadbare towel and nothing else, if he had to guess.

"Sleep with me," she mumbled, words a little slurred.

"What?" he shifted to look at her.

"Not like that," she elbowed his rib, "Old pervert. Not that I'd mind that, but I'm kind of beat."

"Long day," he offered, deliberately ignoring the comment about not minding sex with him. He'd save that one for another day, he decided. He sure as hell wouldn't take advantage of her, drunk and drugged.

"Shall we?" he asked.

"We shall," she replied sleepily. He chuckled and stood; she fell over on her side, the towel falling apart.

"Amanda, sweetheart, get up and go get dressed," Nolan suggested, voice a little huskier at the sight of forbidden fruit, temptation at its finest.

"Do I have to?" she whined.

"I can see your breasts," he replied, as nonchalant as possible. It was enough; she sat, blushing furiously, the towel pulled tight around her again. She glowered at him, possibly the cutest thing he'd seen in a while, and he did his best not to chuckle.

Amanda stood, brushing by him in her haste to get to the bedroom and decency. He watched as she rummaged through their dresser, finding clothes that were suitable. She shot him a look and Nolan averted his eyes as she dropped the towel and quickly pulled on black cotton panties and one of Nolan's grey tank tops that still smelled like him.

He smiled at the sight of her, pulling her hair into a messy, lopsided bun, short and cute in his shirt and her underwear. She smiled coyly at him, and he watched her hips as she sashayed to the bed, crawling in and blowing out the candle on the nightstand. He followed her, blowing out his own candle before settling himself behind her.

"Nolan?" she shifted a little, so she could look back at him.

"Hm?" he responded, lazy and content.

Before she lost all nerve, she turned on her back and arched up so her lips met his. The position was awkward, one hand supporting her and the other around the back of his neck. His surprise melted and he kissed her back, soft and coaxing, not wanting to arouse her further than what he knew the Castithan drug would've done.

Finally, they pulled apart, and she smiled, brushing her lips briefly against his again before falling unceremoniously into the bed. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked down fondly at her. She smiled faintly, the carefree grin not quite reaching her eyes.

"Thank you," she murmured, "For being there."

"Always," he promised, brushing a tender kiss across her forehead, "Always."

With that, he settled down beside her; she turned on her side again and he spooned her. She sighed contentedly, getting comfortable with their hands entwined and clasped on her tummy before her eyelids fluttered shut of their own accord.

Within minutes, her breathing evened out as she fell asleep. Nolan soon followed Amanda's lead, joining her in dreamland.

For once, neither was plagued by nightmares.


End file.
